Holy Ears, Batdog!

Thank you, Picnik.com,

for the fun photo editing tools!

Thank you, Olive,

for being a sweet Batdog

who wore bat wings to match your natural ears,

and posed for a few pics

even though you didn't particularly want to.

Happy Halloweeeeeen!

How to freak out 2 dozen 6-year-olds.

Hey, wanna freak a bunch of 6-year-olds out?  Yeah, I thought so.  Here's how, in 9 easy steps:

1. Get your school to schedule a lockdown drill on the last possible day before they go home for a Halloween weekend, when they've been watching inappropriately scary movies with their friends and families for at least 2 weeks.

2. Forget to tell them anything about said drill before it happens.

3. During a regular school day, when they are all working happily at literacy stations, listen in horror as school officials make a cryptic announcement in code about the lockdown drill on the intercom, and remember that you forgot to tell 2 dozen 6-year-olds anything about it.

4. Turn off all the lights and tell them to go to a back corner of the room and stand behind the table that is there.

5. Close and lock the classroom door.

6. Close the blinds, which will make the room nearly pitch black.

7. Speak only in a whisper when they ask you what's going on, but tell them everything is fine and there is nothing to be afraid of as you continue to insist that everyone be still and quiet in the corner of a dark, locked room.

8. Discuss, in an age-appropriate way, why we need to be able to practice and become good at the above routine.

9. Sit back and listen during your debrief as Silly Willy begins to weave tales and ask questions about "the Blackmailer" who could easily --with his ax-- see us in the far corner of the room (despite the darkness, quiet, and closed blinds) and break down the locked door and....  Well, you get the idea.

Happy Halloweeeeeen!

Georgina Doodles #2

Oh my goodness!  Y'all HAVE to go see Georgina Dollface and take a look what she's done for lil' ol' me!  She made a rendering of Mr. Poor Punctuation (from my latest eHarmony matches) watching his saltwater aquarium walking his dog.  You know, the guy I posted about last week?  Number 2?

Georgina's so talented.  I've always loved her doodles, so when I read that guy's description of what he likes to do in his free time, even though I was so put off by the lack of punctuation, I couldn't get it out of my head that I wanted to see how she would interpret what he does in his free time.  So I asked her to do it for me.  And she DID.  What a generous and gifted bloggy friend!


Thanks, G!  You truly are a gem!!

Up yours, filthy Germs! or Take your vitamins, Car!

Remember this?  Well, I got over it with super-strong antibiotics which threw my internal ecosystem all outta whack (Ladies, I think you know what I mean).  Then I felt back to normal again for a few days.

So, I ran 3 miles on Sunday for 38 minutes, and 2 miles yesterday for 29 minutes.  And now I feel like crap.  Sore throat.  Inflamed sinuses.  Stuffy head.  Ugh.  The good news about all that mucous clogging me up is that I probably don't have strep again.  The bad news is whether it's allergies, a cold, or the flu, it feels yucky and puts me in a bad mood all day every day.

So, I went to the Natural Grocers today after work (and after picking up little tiny ice cream cups for my kids' and our parent teacher conference ice cream party) and got a few herbal remedies that my sisters are always telling me about.  We'll see how it goes.


On my way home I noticed Lolanda isn't feeling well either.  And as far as I can tell, it looks to me like she's requesting some Vitamin B 12.  Guess I'll have to go back to the store tomorrow, too.

Single and. Loving it?

Ok, you asked for it.  When I posted some of my eHarmony matches' impressive displays of brilliance, people enjoyed it and wanted to see more.  Well.

Recently I had about 186 new matches that I had not sorted through because I had not been to the site for nearly a month.  It just all seems so hopeless at my age sometimes, especially when this could be what you get at eHarmony.

But, last week I was inspired to keep proactively looking for my true love when I read Nancy's post called Three Meals in the Life of a Marriage at Away We Go.

Out of the 186, I am currently communicating with 2 matches.  None of them had profiles like the following 3 gems:

1. Not really the place for the silly nicknames. 

2.  Please!  Just take a second and use punctuation.  That way, if you're trying to be funny, people will know.

3.  And, finally, DUUUUDE.

Poker and Various Fartastic Services.

Image from iStockphoto

I taught my students a math game called "Compare" today.  It's basically War, but with a less violent name for school, and special cards that aren't real playing cards.  God forbid anyone should know anything about gambling in school.  I mean, it is the Devil's sport, right?  So, I've shown them how to deal the cards, how to decide who takes the pair, etc... and I say, "What's this game called again?"  And one of my sweet boys who is always talking out of turn yells out, "POKER!" (I guess he has now earned the nickname Pokerface.)

Today we sang a song in reading about a dog groomer, and we were talking about "services," and what that word means.  Some kids mentioned the service provided by the dog groomer, some mentioned their moms getting their nails done, some mentioned when someone serves you a drink at a restaurant, or even at home.  Ok.  Services.  I'm writing the definition on the whiteboard as it was provided to me by a student, and I hear this: "I mean, it's anything you ask someone to do and they do it for you.  Unless you ask them to fart, then they may not be able to do that right then, so they may not give you that service...  heehee hee hee hahahaaahaha!"  Of course we were all giggling by the end of the comment.  I quickly moved on to the next task at hand, as usual.  Who do you think made the comment?  You get 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.

Overexposed and Shards o' Glass

It's been nearly a week since I last posted.  I had a little bit of a sore throat that day.  That night, at midnight, I woke up with a pool of sheets around me, and also a pool of  sweat.  I took my temperature and found that it was 99.7.

I got a sub and slept late.  And by late, I mean 7:30am.  At that time, my little black alarm clock with bat ears and fur woke me up by jumping on my chest like it was a trampoline.  I fed her.  She walked me to the park and back.  I went directly back to bed.  I knew I was really sick at that point because I didn't even care to watch TiVo or read blogs.

I woke up and took my temp again and it was 100.4.  My body ached.  My muscles felt like I had participated in an ironman competition the weekend before, or one of those strongman competitions where they pull the giant redwood tree with their teeth, but I hadn't.  All I had done was walk the dog 300 times around the block.  I figured it must be the flu.

After my 4th nap of the day, my throat felt like I had had these for breakfast.  Or these for a snack, when in actuality, I had only had a bowl of this.

I scheduled an appointment with the doc and went in the next day.  She asked if I had been "exposed" at all, that I knew of.  After some initial confusion where I admitted that yes, I did attend grad school in Las Vegas a hundred years ago, but I NEVER exposed myself, no matter what anyone claimed, and anyway I thought what happens there is supposed to stay there, I explained to her that I teach first grade, so.. yeah, I'm pretty much exposed to every germ there ever was all day long, every day.

She proceeded to scrape (ever so gently) the back of my throat where my tonsils used to be, and I gagged on her hand.  She tried not to look horrified of getting what I had, and made her way to the sink faster than I've ever seen a pregnant woman waddle (no offense to pregnant people, of course).  In less than an hour, I learned that what I had was strep throat, and would still be contagious through the weekend.  I'd never had strep throat before.  I didn't like it.

Today I'm on the mend, feeling much much better than that first few days.  We had a professional development day at school today which means the kids are off for Columbus Day and we were able to work on lesson plans for the next 9-weeks period.

Oh, and we also got clarification on the school's bed bug policy.  Yeah.  I guess "exposed" is about right.

Silly Willy may have a career in Cryonics*

Silly Willy and another boy are giggling as we wait for the cafeteria to empty so we can leave morning assembly.  I watch closely and see that Silly Willy is making his face "freeze" in different expressions while the other boy cracks up over it.

Image from iStockphoto

Silly Willy: Miss FabuLeslie, did you know I could freeze my face that way?
Me: You better be careful, or your face might freeze that way for good!
Silly Willy: I'm gonna freeze you!
Me: You are??  Oh, no!
Silly Willy: Not forever, just for like, 3 hours or something.
Me: Really?  And then what?
Silly Willy: Then you will wake up and your grandpa will go to Mexico and your uncle will go to Las Vegas
Me: ???

*I'm pretty sure he will be an expert in Cryonics someday.

STD and pharmacies... not just for hookers anymore.

Every 3 months, when my medication arrives, I am disturbed and alarmed that I see this on the package...

Then I remember what my medication is for, and I realize that STD means "standard shipping" and all is right with the world again.

Milo & Olive or Frenchie 5k

Oh, hi, Milo!  I remember meeting you before we started walking.  That looks like a great idea.  I'm tired too, but we just keep walking and walking and walking!

We've been going now for more than 45 minutes, and I'm so tired and hot!  Maybe I'll lie here for just a minute, too.  When she said we'd be walking a 5k for NAMI, I guess I didn't realize how far 5k is.

Too bad Benny and Lily aren't here, too.  We could have a Frenchie convention, where we lie around for an hour instead of walking for an hour.  Oh, well.  I guess it was a good time for a good cause, and it sure was nice of mom to carry me for that last mile.  I weigh 22 pounds and that may have been kinda heavy for her! But I know she did it because I'm kinda spoiled, and she's always worrying about me getting overheated!

Here's hoping you have a happy and restful Sunday!

JT and JF rap it up.

I resisted watching this the first 2 times I saw it on facebook.  This morning I have some time before leaving for my 5k walk, so I just watched it.  And I'm glad I did.  Very fun 4 minutes!