The cleavage was deep. And wide.

Feeling much better.  Thanks for all the well wishes.

We start out with the pros and cons for choosing each girl.  I would list them here, but honestly, I was not paying much attention.  Kinda zoned out.  And don't wanna bother to rewind TiVo.  Bor-ing.

Chantal and Brad go on a Safari together.  She talks about how eating lunch with a hippo and feeling safe with Brad is a metaphor for their relationship.  You know, because there are scary things happening around every corner in their relationship, and... and.. blah blah. Then she gets all Boston on our ass and talks about how her love for him is "... more than a feeling."  So now, how could I not include the following video for you in case you want some music by which to read the rest of the re-cap.  It actually is kind of enjoyable.  Or distracting.  Skip it if you want.  Then write in the comments that you listened and loved it.  I'll never know.

The cleavage at dinner is deep.  And wide.  It inspires Brad to share that he's the most comfortable around her as compared with all the other hoochies on the show.  Then there's a discussion about getting married on a whim, and he shares that he loves her spontaneity.  "My GOD," he loves that about her.  Suddenly the "let's go to the fantasy suite" note arrives, and Chantal says she doesn't want any more dinner.  She's ready for the fantasy suite.  Like NOW.  So they go to the treehouse and do unspeakable things that we don't get to know about.  I hope they don't get murdered by a pack of wild lions or something.  No seriously.  I hope that doesn't happen.


No sign of "no doubt about it" in this episode yet.  Don't let your guard down.  We must be vigilant.  Wait for it.

He can't put it into words how happy he is to see Emily.  He says he forgot something, and when he returns, he's on an elephant.  Then, with a reverse-worst-fear moment, she discloses that she has always dreamed of coming to Africa and riding an elephant.  Note to self: when producers from the Bachelor ask about your worst fears, LIE.  When they ask about your hopes and dreams, DREAM BIG.  And then wear some short daisy dukes on that elephant.  And say, "Oh, my goodness gracious, oh my dear lord.." a lot.  They sit down to dinner, and Brad can't reach for the wine fast enough.  He is so nervous and awkward with her!  It's weird.  It's like he wants to love her and she wants to love him.  But there's not really anything there.  She said she is falling in love with him, but he is shocked.  And then he shares that he's falling in love with her too.  Weird!  Because they are so awkward together!  Then they commence to gettin' it on and the cameras leave the fantasy suite.

Ashley!  Even shorter daisy dukes than the cold, prude-y mom, Emily!  Well done, Ash.  He'll be powerless to resist.  He takes her to a helicopter and she actually runs away from it for a second.  Then she realizes she's in Africa and there's nowhere to run to.  (Can't think of the song reference here.  Do it yourself.  I gave you Boston.)  She freaks out and says that it is her biggest fear.  (Again, what have we learned here about sharing your biggest fears with producers of reality tv shows?  Several things.  One is you might want to make up some fears that you don't really have, so, say you're afraid of helicopters even when you aren't.  If you have these fears, you will probably have a better chance to be chosen for a show like this than if you don't.)  Brad then starts the 20 questions portion of the day.  He asks if she will be able to "live and not just achieve..." and if she will be able to find balance in life.  She admits that she has a "need to achieve" in dental school, and he doesn't say it, but is basically worried that she will be too focused on her career and will not be able to dote on him like the wife he wants to have.  Then she won't say that she will move to Austin happily to be his wife if it comes to that.  And he wants her to say that.  But she won't.  And they both get frustrated because they are each leaving too many things unsaid.  She says yes to the fantasy suite.  And he says, "...we had so much... we can still have so much..."  He means, of course, that they can have so much...sex, but he doesn't say that last word.

And now, speaking of sex, may I take a moment to say thanks, ABC, for the following:

Now the elusive Chris Harrison appears.  Brad confides in him that he is freaking out, and decides that he needs to talk to Ashely again before the rose ceremony.  Which makes me think he's going to ask her to stay.  And let Chantal go???  Sucky!  I'm bummed.  Maybe I'll be wrong.  I hope.

Ok.  I'm exhausted.  Now he says he just doesn't know if he can fit into her life, and that he wanted answers to questions.  She says she wishes she could just sit down and answer all those questions.  Uhhh, Ash, that's what the DATE was for.  When you totally dodged his questions and refused to say you'd move to Austin to be his love slave if he asked you to.  She totally did this to them.  He just wanted her to say she loves him, or that she is falling in love with him or that she might be able to move to Austin with him someday, or something, anything, to help him know she won't reject him later.  And she was so prideful that she couldn't even do that.  And then she gets mad at him for sending her home.  Too bad.  Just like a crazy woman.

Oh!  And we have our "no doubt about it"!!  Yay!  "I was so lucky to have Ashley here, and felt very strongly for Ashley.  No doubt about it..."  Now I can go to bed and sleep peacefully knowing all is right with the world.  'Night, all!

P.S.  Who the hell is Romeo?  And exactly how sad is it that I have only ever heard of approximately half of the new contestants on Dancing with the Stars?  Sugar Ray says it's all psychological, spiritual and mental...  I've never watched that show, but maybe I should start.  It could be the new show I recap?  Not sure if I could handle having to watch it every time it's on, though...

Give mommy a kiss!

Four Hometown Dates
1) Chantal O. - Seattle, Washington -"I am a total relationship person."
At Chantal's house, Brad meets the little furballs (1 dog and 2 cats), and Boca likes him, despite the fact that Chantal warned him he might get bitten by Boca.  I'm pretty sure Boca was named after Boca burgers, because he does look like a little burger with fur.

Ok, can we talk about this house that her parents own?  In true Brad-speak, he says, "I don't know what I'm in store for..." and man, I have to say that the parental home makes it feel like we're watching a soap opera.  Dad has a statue of a guy carving himself out of a rock, representing a self-made man.  Seriously.  And why would anyone need that much ceiling space unless it was for the lighting that a soap opera requires?  Dad and Brad then bond over their common masonry heritage, and her dad refers to her as a "great gal..."  Blah blah blah.

Cut in this soap opera to Chantal O. and her mom on the feminine chairs having a heart to heart about falling in love again, after the ex-husband.  Giggly hug.

Back to wine with the boys where Brad asks for soap opera dad's daughter's hand in marriage, wait, Brad doesn't ask.  Chantal's dad offers her hand to Brad in marriage.  Well done, Brad.  And by Brad I mean, Chantal's Dad.

2) Ashley - Madawaska(?), Maine - "Coming back [to Madawaska] really warms my heart."
Apparently there are lots of French-speaking people in this region.  She takes him to a hometown restaurant where she had her first job.  The waitstaff asks, in French, how he's doing, and genius Brad replies, "Si."  Oh my.  At least he was appropriately embarrassed.

She wants a dish called poutine, which is fries with cheese and gravy.  He exclaims that at least it's better than sushi!  (WHAT?  I'm sorry, Brad.  Deal Breaker.  At least you have these 4 girls left because you would not have me after a remark like that.)  They feed the fries to each other, and there is a very romantic moment where she says, "And I see your crown!"  hee hee hee  ...Pledge not to waste any more time talking about reassuring each other about feelings... giggle giggle giggle.

Visit with the family... Brad leaves saying he doesn't want to leave.

3)  Shawntel - Chico, California- "Death has been a big part of my life since I was a little girl, which I think is pretty healthy."
Shawntel gets to be the creepy weirdo now that Michelle is gone.  Brad goes directly to the mausoleum where she works, and he is visibly freaked out.  She shows him the crematorium, and he says, "I've been thinkin' that if Shawntel and I get married, these are gonna be our conversations... they're gonna be centered around death..."  He says, "It fascinates me that you embalm people...."  Read, "It disgusts me and scares me that you embalm people..."  Then with the creepy music playing, he lies down on the embalming table and she describes what she does to embalm someone.  He admits he's creeped out.

Man, I wonder what the producers told her to get her to do all this with him!  Death is not attractive, I don't care if it is your passion and your life's work.  How did she get convinced to make this the first experience he has at her hometown visit??  So weird.

Then it gets weirder when they have dinner with the fam.  Here's a quick (paraphrased) synopsis of the convo at dinner:
Shawntel's Dad: My daughter is awesome.  I'm so lucky!  I'm old and she's better at embalming than I am.  She could take over the family death business tomorrow!  Or another day soon... and she just might!!
Shawntel: Daddy, I'm falling in love with Brad, and if he wants me to move to Austin with him, I will.  Screw your business, and screw Chico!
Brad: [gulp]
Shawntel: Seriously.  When you fall in love, you may do things you didn't expect.
Shawntel's Dad: Uh, Darling daughter, may I have a word with you?

Then Shawntel and Daddy go in the other room and Shawntel says, "Daddy!  Don't mess this up for me!!  He is THIS close to asking me to marry him, and I know I sealed the deal when I asked him to lie down on the embalming table today!!  Don't make him think he'll have to come here and live with me in the death business, or he'll turn and run away like a man with half the sense that God gave a billygoat."

Cut to everyone sitting around together enjoying each other's company.  Everything good?  Yup.  All good.

4) Emily - Charlotte, North Carolina - "Mommy is so happy right now!"
To break the ice of their first meeting, Brad gives Emily's daughter Ricky a butterfly kite.  AWKWARD.  The little daughter is not interested in talking to Brad or even looking him in the eye!  Ugh.  The silent treatment is the worst!  Brad tries to work his magic on her, like he has on most other women in his life.  She starts to enjoy the kite, and there is hope that this little girl might not instantly crush everything her mom and the re-Bachelor have worked so hard to build in various exotic, romantic destinations of the world.  Emily keeps calling him "Mr. Brad" which is a little weird.  They play games together, and before the night is over, Ricky gives Brad the re-Bachelor a picture that she has drawn of the kite.  He gets summoned upstairs to say goodnight to her, and all is well.

The 2 grown-ups sit down and visit, enjoying the afterglow of the day.  Emily confesses to the producers, the 20 camera-men, and all of America that she's waiting for him to kiss her, and then he confides in her that he wants to show her respect, and therefore doesn't want to kiss her, but wants to hug her goodnight instead of kissing her.  You know.  Because her daughter is upstairs.  Ok.  Umm, then she points out that, helloooo, if this works out, that kid will always be upstairs!  She says it's sweet, but basically she wants her damn kiss!  The he says,  "I don't wanna leave weird."  And our damsel reaches up and kisses him saying, "It's ok to kiss me."  That's our 21st century heroine!  Take what you need, girl!  It's on you to get yours.  No one's gonna do it for you!

Wrap-up of the dates we JUST SAW
Then we have a wrap-up with Chris Harrison.  You know.  Because we just watched all these dates within the PAST HOUR.  Thank goodness we got to have that memory-refresher!

Of course, Shawntel is sent home by Brad to inherit her father's funeral home after all.  And after she made that stand for Brad and everything! Aw, man!  It's ok.  We knew her heart was in death, and she can stay with it in Chico now.  I bet her Daddy is one happy camper!

As Brad walks her out to say goodbye, he comforts her by telling her she "will find the perfect guy, no doubt about it."  Did I mention he says that too much!?  Because he does.  No doubt about it.

Nightie night, sweet little maidens.

Ok, so, I survived my first day back to work after a week of horrific flu and Restrictive Airway Disease symptoms, but now, as I'm watching the Bachelor and trying to keep my eyes open, it's not going well.  I have such witty things in my head, but no patience or energy to memorialize them in cyberspace.  That means I must take to my bed, and write the rest tomorrow after my day job ends.  Alas, it is a sacrifice, but one my readers are well worth, especially because I know they will understand.  Thanks, dear readers.  Until tomorrow, I bid you adieu.  Wait.  Why am I talking like a 16th century English maid all of a sudden?  No idea.  I told you I need to go to bed.

Oh here go hell come!

It's my birthday!  I'm still coughing like crazy and wishing I could just sleep but I decided even though I had to postpone my celebration that was scheduled for yesterday evening, it would be too pathetic to let my birthday come and go without getting a chocolate chip cookie cake with some silly words on it.  So, here ya go.

The picture was supposed to be a bowl of soup, but I knew I was in trouble when she said, "how'm I supposed to make the bowl of soup?" on the phone.  Uhh, you're the great cookie cake artist... isn't that your job to figure out?  But, I went ahead and said, "I don't know, I guess make some steam coming off the top?  And maybe have a spoon coming out of it?"  Oh well.  I guess steam is too much to ask for.  The Soup is in honor of the show that brings me laughs and smiles on a consistent, weekly basis.

I know most people don't get me, even fewer as I age.  But here's to the few who do.  Enjoy.  Happy birthday to me!

I'm too sick to think of a title.

Have you ever coughed so hard you peed a little in your pants?  No?  Yeah, me neither.

So, I got the swine.  It wasn't confirmed, but I'm pretty sure that's what's going on here.  I haven't been this sick in a while.  The cough is really somethin'.  And the fever, the aches and pains.  Man!  Miserable few days I got going on here.

So it crossed my mind that I might be able to skip the Bachelor wrap-up post this week.  But then I read the comments on my last post and found So-So Stephanie demanding the post, no matter my ailments.  So, here ya go.  I consider this my job even though I get paid in comments instead of money.  Just as important.  So, here we go.

A 2-hour commercial for the Caribbean island of Anguilla.  Actually, it's a 1.5 hour commercial for Anguilla, with a half-hour commercial for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.  Seriously, these shows really only have enough content in them for one hour.

Can I just say that Chris Harrison has the best gig in television?  He's there, he tapes one segment explaining to the girls what's going to happen in the week, and then excuses himself until the next rose ceremony.

Wait.  Did Brad just use the word, "bevy"?  As in "Look at this bevy of beauties!"?  Now, maybe it's all this cold medicine I'm on, but I just had to rewind it and yes.  That's what I heard him say.  Umm, if you can use the word "bevy" could you also please get the word "rappel" right?

Anyway, I was saying, what does Chris Harrison do in the meantime?  My guess?  Lounge on the beach.  Does his wife travel with him?  If so, maybe I want her job.  Usually, if he was a journalist or something, I'd assume he would be researching and writing the stories that he will report on at the next on-screen event.  But, at his next on-screen event, he will just say a couple things about roses and then be done.  Really.  I want his job.

Brad takes Emily to a deserted island, where she uses the words "pretty" and "nice" a bunch of times to describe the setting.  Hey, Em (as he has taken to calling her), use understatements much?  Blah blah blah, can I meet your daughter?  I don't know.  Blah blah blah.  Make out session in the Caribbean Sea.

Ok, another grammar note: "Whatever's happening between you and I, I really like it."  Let's stop the overuse of the word "I" in our society.  This stops here and now.  You use the word "I" when it is the subject of a sentence.  So, in this case, the person speaking becomes the object of the sentence, right?  So it should be "...between you and me."  It's ok to use the word 'me.'  Sorry people corrected you as a child when you said, "Me and so-and-so are going to the park."  In that case, you should use the word 'I' instead of 'me.'  That does not mean, however, that every time you talk about 2 people doing something, you must use the word 'I'.  Sometimes, the word 'me' is appropriate.  Don't be afraid of it.

Shawntel N. goes to a local marketplace with Brad and finds our re-Bachelor to be extra-attractive when interacting with "other people."  Then, Shawntel and Brad have a real Chantal and Brad moment when they witness a downpour and promptly start making out.  Uh-oh.  Don't tell Chantal about this.  The rain was supposed to be her thing with Brad.

Britt and Brad act like brother and sister on their date on the yacht, and when Michelle says of Britt and Brad, "...not only do I not see them getting married, I don't even see them friending each other on Facebook," her prediction is accurate in an uncanny, if bitchy, way.

Ok.  Normally, I don't like to comment on the bodies of people, even if they are on tv, but Britt really looks anorexic to me as she is climbing the cliff to go cliff jumping from.  I see her ribs.  And I don't like to see ribs unless they are on my dinner plate at a Bar-B-Q restaurant.  Maybe that's just me.

Again, Michelle makes a prediction that comes true with, "Group dates suck!"

Has anyone else noticed that Brad says, "No doubt about it," entirely too much?  Because he does.

Ok, this orange lingerie dress Britt is wearing is AWFUL.  It looks like she forgot to put her dress on over her slip.  The awkwardness on the date is ten times worse.  And then he sends her off in the floaty lifeboat.  Kudos, Britt, on a very dignified exit from the yacht.  Man, the girls were way more thrilled to see Britt than Brad ever was.  Maybe some of the girls should think about dating each other instead.

Brad wakes the girls up before the crack of dawn so they can do a surprise photo shoot for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.  The best moment of the entire group date is when Ashley jumps up in her Sports Illustrated swimsuit, arms in the air, and shouts at the top of her lungs, "NO BOOBS!"  She laughs and hugs Brad, giggling about her itty bitty ones.  The photographers then ask the girls to go topless and all hell breaks loose.

Yeah, in the next minutes it becomes clear that Brad has bigger boobs than Ashley.  Or "Ash" as he calls her.

He then spends the entire group date assuring the women that he wants them all there.

P.S.  What is that GREEN drink they all have?  It looks like an avocado-pistachio-whirled peas color.  Gross.

Brad declares that Michelle is stubborn, and he wonders if they would "go round and round..." if they were in a relationship together.

Ok.  Chris Harrison must have earned overtime pay for this episode.  Instead of just saying, "Ladies, Brad, this is the final rose tonight.  When you're ready."  He had to hear Brad ask if he could skip the cocktail party because his mind was already made up about who he was sending home.  And then he had to halfheartedly try to talk Brad into having the cocktail party anyway.  And then he had to go tell the girls that the cocktail party had been canceled.  Whew.  I'm exhausted.  I don't know how Chris Harrison handles such an extreme workload!

In the end, Michelle goes home.  Whew.  Big relief.  And the only thing scarier than her silent treatment of Brad on the walk out to the limo is the spooky weird thing she does in the limo where she lies down on the seat sideways in a semi-fetal position, rocks herself to the point she looks like she's trembling, and just doesn't speak.  Creepy.  I'm sure we haven't seen the last of her.

Oh, and that reminds me of the hilarious commercial for Virgin Mobile where they have a Michelle look-alike sitting in a tree, talking about how she can cyber-stalk Brad for just $25/month.  So funny!

P.S. What is it Mark Twain said? I had to write you a long letter because I didn't have time to write you a short one?  That's why this post is so long. My editing skills are hampered by my illness. Oh well. I'm sure you'll get over it and I'll be back to my succinct self next week.

Up yours, Valentine's Day!

Ok, well, it's finally happened.  Valentine's Day has actually made me physically sick.  I submit to you the following evidence of my long-held belief that Valentine's Day sucks!

We had our V-day party at school on Friday, and that's when my symptoms started.  I had a sore throat and a nagging cough.  Then I ran on Saturday.  On Sunday, as Valentine's Day got closer, I had a fever of 101 degrees all day and all night.  Today I am snotty and gross.  My throat hurts, I'm achey, feverish, coughy, and just gross.

To make matters worse, I spoke with a sub yesterday who said she could come in for me today, and then around 9:00 this morning I got a text asking if I talked to the sub because she wasn't there at school.  What??  I called her and she said she is sick too, and that she called the school and told them she wouldn't be in for me after all.  My school is the best ever, because they've got it all under control.

Still.  Valentine's Day?  Worst day of the year.  Seriously.

Where's Jack Bauer when you need him?

Ever wake up and feel like you wanna commit a great caper?  Just round up Jack Bauer, John McClane, and Jason Bourne and go on a heist, the likes of which you've only ever seen on the big screen?

This morning, I got up to go on my run.  I was coughing and my throat was sore.  It was 34 degrees.  Still, last Saturday I only did 20 minutes instead of the planned 40 minutes, so I decided to channel my inner badass and go anyway.  I fed and walked Olive, donned my cold weather running clothes, and got ready to go.

Before I left, I glanced in the mirror, and saw there, staring back at me, my alter ego, Lesifer, missing her ski mask, but ready for the caper she'd been planning since Christmas.

I went to my running group's meeting place and ran 3.2 miles in 43 minutes.  When I say 'ran' I mean I ran 7 minutes and walked 2 minutes, and did that for the whole run.  And, it was totally do-able.  Not easy, but do-able.

My wheezing was not pleasant.  I tried to keep my mouth closed so the air could be warmed by my nose before whistling down my throat, but at the height of exertion, that's just not possible.  At those times, it felt kinda like the ol' shards o' glass thing, but overall, that was the most unpleasant thing about the run.

Oh, and my sunglasses kept fogging up, which for me would be terribly annoying, but my badass alter ego seemed to take it in stride.

My buddies that I usually run with were not there today, either, so, alas, no heist, but at least I got my miles/minutes on my feet, and I'm another step closer to the 10k at the end of March.  And being able to run that 10k and feel like I did today?  That'll be better than anything I could snake in a heist.

Hey Abe Lincoln, Mint THIS!

We've been learning about coins and money.  We've looked at all the details of the penny, nickel, dime, and quarter.  We talked about the Lincoln Memorial because it's on the back of the penny.  At the end of today we were having our Valentine's Day party (ugh!  I hate this 'holiday' more than I can accurately express).

Silly Willy: I need to go to the Lincoln Memorial.
Me: What?
Silly Willy: I need to go to the Lincoln Memorial!  [giggling, pointing toward the restroom] You know. The bathroom?!

Cheech reads a story.

We're reading a book called Let's Plant a Garden in a small group, and we are reviewing the vocabulary words that will be in the book that the students may need support with before reading the book.  One of those words is "weed."  The following is the conversation that occurred:

Photo via iStockphoto

Me:  What's this word?
Students: [sounding out the word] weed
Me: Right.  Weed.  What's a weed?
Silly Willy:  Weed is, um, it's a plant that grows-
Me: Yes...
Silly Willy: -and it's only for grown-ups, not for kids...
Me:  Yes, that's one kind of weed.  Actually in this case, it's a plant that grows in your garden that isn't supposed to be there...

My Review of Road Runner Sports Drymax Thin Low Cut 3pk Socks

Originally submitted at Road Runner Sports

Road Runner Sports Drymax Thin Low Cut 3pk

Road Runner Sports Drymax Thin Low Cut 3pk Socks

Great socks!

By Accidental Runner from Austin, TX on 2/9/2011

 

5out of 5

Sizing: Feels true to size

Pros: Attractive Design, Comfortable, Soft

Best Uses: Running

Describe Yourself: Runner

I got these as a gift and I am shocked at how much better they are than other socks I've used. The cushioning on the heel and ball, the mild compression at the arch, the lack of chafing all over... it all works together to help me have a better run. I haven't had them long enough to comment on durability, but they seem strong. Great socks!

(legalese)

Nama..steak and potatoes sounds deeelish right now!

Woman, you so crazy!

Two Random Conversations

 #1 Uhh, am I really the crazy one?
Silly Willy (waiting in the lunch line): Are you crazy, woman??  This shirt is from the '70s!
Me: blink blink
Silly Willy: Are you crazy, woman??  This shirt is from the '70s!
Me:  It doesn't look like it's from the '70s, but even if it is, why are you asking if I'm crazy?
[pause]
[grin]
Silly Willy: I'm tryin' to be funnyyyyy.


#2 [The password is: volunteer.]
Me (talking to the class about a picture in a book of people volunteering at a community center): So, if you are working and helping out in your community without getting paid, you are a...
The Artist: worker!
Me: No, let's say it's not your job to help out, but you help out anyway.  You're....  anyone?  Bueller?  (Ok.  I didn't say Beuller, but sometimes I say stuff like that just to entertain myself.)
Precocious One: helping!
Me: Yes, you're helping, but what do we call those people?  You know, if you work in the community center and then at the end you don't get paid, you're...
Cutie Pie: Disappointed!

Umm, She'll be waiting... all nice and wet.

Tonight I can't stand a full recap of the re-Bachelor's dates in Costa Rica.  So, what you're getting is a random collection of my thoughts while watching the Bachelor, and quotes from the show.  After all, many of you, including So-So-Stephanie, reminded me in the comments section that it's MY blog and I should write about what I want to write about.  Uh-oh.  I hope you haven't created a monster.

"I'll be waiting for you on the other side.  All nice and wet." -Chantal O.

Umm, does Brad sound at all like Kermit the Frog to anyone else?  That's not a quote.  That's just a question I'd like an answer to.

"This could happen every night."  -Brad

Umm, hey, Brad, it's me, FabuLeslie.  Really?  It could happen every night?  It could be that every night you're in Costa Rica with ABC's nearly unlimited Bachelor budget at your disposal and 6-8 girls waiting for you back at the house if this particular chic gets outta line and doesn't do what you want?  Really?  'Cuz, I don't think it could be like that every night.  Well, maybe it could.  In Utah.

"We are repelling down a waterfall."  -Brad

Oh, God, more repelling.  Nooooo!  Please, no.  I'm seriously gonna call ABC myself and ask someone to tell him to stop embarrassing himself.  Is there something I'm missing?  'Cuz I looked it up and I'm pretty sure the word is still 'rappelling.'  Really.  Agghhhhhh!

"It's really annoying to see Brad being so nice to the other girls.... We had a pact!  We're gonna repel again.  We're gonna repel together!"  -Michelle (Psycho-b****), as she punches Brad

"I don't see you with her...and I'm not just saying that because, like, I want you to end up with me, like, I'm saying that because, like, I care about you...."  -Michelle

"Here's the deal... tonight, I'm not going to hand out a rose."  -Brad

"If he can't make a decision, I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands."  -Michelle

Ok, Producers, I know you want to put all the girls in situations where they have to face their worst fears with Brad by their side to make their bond seem stronger than it really is, but, umm, I think the cave trip with Alli where she had to be around spiders and bugs and bats could have been either:
A) more well-lit, or
B) in a place other than a cave
See, the problem is, when you watch TV, you want to see more than just darkness while you listen to creepy crawly creatures and a scared little girl's screeches.  You want to SEE that stuff.  I know.  I'm weird like that.

"We're sinking....  we're sinking."  -Brad and Alli on a floating platform in the bubbling swamp.  So symbolic.  She doesn't get the rose and has to leave immediately.

"My feelings ...they grew a lot for you and... I have fallen in love with you..  I love you..."  -Chantal O.

Wooo, girl!  Chantal O.!  Dropping the L-bomb.  Look what you diii-id!  That girl's got some balls on her!  Nice move.

I love how Chris says, "Chantillo" when he's talking to Chantal O.

Why is Britt still there with everyone?!

Aaaaand Jackie goes home.  Aww.  So sad.  Except that she gets to escape being stabbed to death in her sleep by Michelle when she finally flips the hell out.  Run away, Jackie!  Run like the wind!! Save yourself!

Hello, my name is FabuLeslie, and I'm a runner.

Ok, you know what?  Too bad if you don't like to read about running.  I've been refraining from writing about it for fear of your not wanting to read it, but who cares?  It's like I've found a new love in running, and I can't think about anything else.  Just like when I first started blogging, remember?  I was obsessed?  And sometimes I chased people  with funny orange flags down in the streets?  Well, I learned to be more moderate about blogging, and maybe I will someday learn that with running, too.  But for now, you're just gonna have to let me go on and on about it until I get it outta my system.  Maybe then I'll have the time and inclination to read blogs as much as I write blog posts.  Unlike lately, when all I can do is eat, sleep, work, run, and write a post every once in a while when I can find something other than running to write about, like the Bachelor.

I started another blog on wordpress to talk about running and my journey to health, but I've been watching a lot of United States of Tara lately via Netflix and I want my blogging life to be integrated, not fractured, like her personality.  So, I've decided to write about running here, with everything else.  So, indulge, me, won't you?  Grin and bear it.  Whatever you have to do to stick with me through my love of running.  It's much appreciated.  And I still promise to be back to read all your blogs again someday, even if that day comes this summer, when my day job disappears for a couple months.  Thanks.

Image via iStockphoto

I need to document my long, hard-fought battle against crappy ‘Frankenfood.’  That’s what Jillian Michaels calls it.  You know, the food that’s not really food, but more like food products?  That journey is hard, and it sucks, and I've been at it for a while.

Then, I found running, and everything changed.  Well, not everything.  It's still freakin' hard.  But, I want to get off the additives and preservatives to help my running.  Sure, it will hopefully help me release 50 pounds of extra weight that I insist on carrying around, but the reason I’m ditching McDonald’s?  Because I want to be a runner.  A healthy runner.  Not a great runner or a fast runner, but the least injured runner my body can be for years to come.  Feel free to read about the 3-month running journey to my first 5k.  On January 8, I began my journey to my first 10k, which will happen at the end of March.

Yesterday I was supposed to do a long run with my running group at 8am.  The problem was it was supposed to be 26 degrees at 8am, and I had no running clothes for that weather.  Well, I had bought some running pants online, but when they came they were about 3 inches too long!  So I couldn’t use those.  Plus, even if I was going to use those, I would have needed an underlayer, and I didn’t have that.  So, I decided to do my long run on my own later, when it would be 50 or 60 degrees instead.

I managed to get out there, but that’s one of the main victories I had.  My goal was to run 40 minutes with 8 minutes running and 1 minute walking each interval.  That did NOT happen.  I ran the first 8 minutes (after warm-up and stretching), and thought, ohlord.  I am not gonna be able to do this.  I better walk 2 minutes instead of one.  So I did.  And then I ran another 8 minutes only to be exhausted and done after walking about 6 more.  Ugh.  I started to feel defeated and then remembered my goals.  The ones OTHER than the 40 minute run.

I had set a goal to end obsessions and fears about a hurt knee.  If I started worrying my knee was hurt or would get hurt, my goal was to think about my form.  When one of my knees started to hurt early on in the run, I adjusted my form and it immediately felt better.  Hooray!  Goal: accomplished.

I had also set a goal to get good info about what intervals would be doable for me and which would be too hard or too easy.  Well, I certainly got some info on that front!  Goal: accomplished.

Oh, and I had set a goal to GET OUT AND RUN even though I didn’t go in the morning with my group.  Goal: ACCOMPLISHED.  YAY!

So, when I look at the run in that light, instead of thinking just about the 40 minutes I wasn’t able to manage, I’m feeling pretty good about it all.  Well done, me.  Well done.

The Chevy Bacon. It's more car than breakfast.

I was driving to my evening run the other day and saw this:

Whaaa?  Yeah.  It's a Chevy Aveo LS Bacon.  Awesome.  Is this because it's bacon-colored?  Does the persoon inside just really love bacon?  So.  Weird.

But it reminds me of the recipe I made this morning that I wanted to share with you.  It's spinach artichoke mini-frittatas.  I made up the recipe because I want something with protein and veggies to grab for breakfast on the way to work.  Turned out to be pretty good, so I wrote it down.  Please note: there is no bacon in this recipe, but I thought you could add some if you wanted.

Leslie’s Spinach Artichoke Mini-Frittatas
8 eggs
1 chopped scallion
1/3 cup finely chopped spinach and parsley
1 can artichokes
feta cheese
salt & pepper to taste

Lightly grease a jumbo muffin pan (the kind with 6 jumbo cups) with light olive oil.  Scramble the eggs together with the scallion, spinach, parsley, salt and pepper.  Rough chop the artichokes and place a few in the bottom of each muffin cup.  Pour the egg mixture evenly into the muffin cups.  Sprinkle the tops with a generous amount of feta cheese.  Bake at 325 for 16-18 minutes, or until the eggs are almost set.  Let them cool in the pan so they can set completely.  Enjoy!

Totally on a grampage!

The Birthday Girl, with her full-on old lady posture and all.

So, the other night I went on a grampage.  What's a grampage, you ask?  Well, it's a superfun pub crawl where people dress up like old people, and ride the bus from one pub to the next.  I, of course, only went to the first pub and then went home because I had a run in the morning that I was nervous about and didn't want to be dehydrated.  I also didn't dress up because I'm a fuddy duddy like that sometimes, and, well, I guess being a fuddy duddy isn't the worst costume for an old person costume, right?   But everyone else went to many pubs that evening, and we all had a great time.  This is just the best idea ever, so I got permission from the people involved to post pics here.  See, my friend Heidi is an artist, and it was her birthday, and this is how she wanted to celebrate.  She's not only super talented and artsy, but she teaches art to elementary kids, and does an amazing job.  This grampage idea was hers, and I just had to share it.  Enjoy!

Don't worry. I'll wipe your butt.

My Dear, Sweet Olive,

Olive, 2 months old, March 2009

I wasn't there on this day 2 years ago when you were born, but I came and got you in Oklahoma as soon as I could (a couple months later).  I drove through a freak March blizzard and feared for my life, and my reward was you!  My sweet little bundle of joy.  And I do mean little.  When you were crying in the crate in the back seat, I thought it was your toy squeaking, but it wasn't.  I guess it's not surprising that you grew up to make sounds that make other people think you are a bird.

Olive, 2 months old, March 2009

You are an amazingly terrifying watchdog, and yet you wouldn't hurt a fly; the best of both worlds in my book.

I love your quirks.  I love that you can't stand shiny metal or crinkly plastic being close to you, or on a countertop higher than you are.  I love that you bark your head off when I change the calendar, or when you find any small little thing that isn't where it was before.  I love that I can't watch TV shows that have animals in them because you bark as loud as you can when you see them, and you jump up on the TV shelves, causing me to have to constantly rearrange the books on those shelves (OK, that last one is not something I love, but it is something that happens as a result of your quirks, so I can deal with it).

Olive, 2 months old, March 2009

Not only that, but you are the reason I learned I just might be able to run.  Trying to catch up with you on walks and keep the leash loose was a personal challenge that you encouraged me to meet.  And later, you were the reason I discovered I love to run.

We've been through some rough life circumstances together, just you and me, but you never doubted that I knew what was best for us.  You trust me more than anyone has ever trusted me in my life, and I must say, that feeling is mutual.

Some people don't get me.  They don't understand how you have a canine body but I treat you like a baby who came from my loins.  It's ok.  You get me, and that makes me smile more often than it should.

I'm glad you like your stuffing-less fox I gave you today, and I hope you enjoyed your birthday cookie along with the birthday song I sang just before I gave it to you (I'll give you the other one tomorrow).  I also hope it doesn't give you diarrhea.  If it does, don't worry.  I'll be here to wipe your butt like I did the day you came home with me and for weeks after, as you had to adjust to your new food.

I love you, Little Girl, and I hope all your dreams come true.  Happy Birthday Olivina!